Pool

It doesn’t mean that I don’t know.
I suck at reading. Sitting and doing one thing for a considerable amount of time. My brain seems to flurry and blizzard around as if the cold weren’t enough. But it’s not alone either, as you might be able to tell, from some sort of coincidence in reading this passage.
It was the warmth of an early September day that brought together boys in a pool. A whirlpool was their goal as they walked in circles together creating some sort of force that continued even as they picked up their feet. Sucked into the middle, most of them screamed in some sort of pursuit of happiness only recognized in youth and squandered in the realities of the adult mind.
“Mr. V.?” My attention focuses on a small face with a shaved head. His braces were gleaming in the sun as he looks at me with eyes that speak wonder.
“Do you think I could make one by myself?” I was hit by a train in the moment.
“What do you mean do you think you could make one yourself,” I thought to myself.
As the car that we allow them to drive off with starts its engine it is almost as if we start out own simultaneously. We tailgate, watching every move and turn on our brights so that we can see just passed them; we look on what’s ahead instead of on them. In return instead of focusing on what is ahead of them they focus on the idiotic fool that rides their bumper with their brights on impairing their vision on a road that we already know they are very capable of driving.
And in some sort of nightmarish fantasy we call this education.
“Do you think I could make one by myself?” He was in the pool. I was in a pool chair basking in my own self knowledge considering the physics of the water and his movement in it. I do wonder, is it possible…
Then again, I’m not the one in the pool.

Certain

The hand seems to tremble on such certain occasions.
A bent knee…
A shaky voice…
Yes.
I hear a certain tone that screams that music of my soul… or my heart, I can’t say for certain.
But the occasion is certain, that it’s certain to be a good one.
I don’t know why it is that certain occasions can be so appealing, even to the masses. Seven, eight, nine… eighteen, be it as it may, it is certain that it couldn’t be too pure. But certain aren’t even for certain before certainty is surely displayed for certain. And I can’t wait.
If I could take you under a wing and get behind you so that together we could fly, well, certainly we would be right back at the start. So there must be more. I’m certain.
The voice seems to tremble on such certain occasions.
A sweaty hand…
Spoken words…
I will.
I hear a certain tone that screams that music of my soul… or my heart, I can’t say for certain.
But the occasion is certain, that it’s certain to be a good one.
And all of this, I would have to conclude, is because of the greatest certainty of all…
I am quite certain, I love you.

I wonder sometimes how you get so stuck in ruts, so involved in worldly meaningless things. "It is all meaningless." It is cunning, and it is sly.
I wrote this as an outlet. Realizing that things aren't solved through myself. Rather, if I just cut the strings that attach me to "lost adored," to "lost baggage," to "spilled blood," that my life could finally scream Hallelujah. Cause that is what we are here for. It is all to scream Hallelujah.


Misery:

All it was was once before
A time forgotten cause "less is more"
Surfaced upon lost adored
In some baggage lost is stored

I said Saving grace wasn't good enough
Cause it's heel is fine my head is crushed
I'm still wiping up fresh spilled blood
And every chance comes like a flood

It was done before it was in your eye
Lost and wondering "who the hell am I?"
I go slow but can't make a straight line
I you ask me I will be fine

Call for the morning, it won't come too soon
I'll be up and failed before even noon
5th, pedal, and 80 is what I should do
It's a circle right back at you

Repentance:

Cut my strings and fall to the ground
This is the best place for me now
Majesty consumes and pride falls
Opened heart to overwhelming calls

Angels rejoice when I fell
From conditioning to think and tell
My life is mine and I am free
Yielded and finally seen

Redemption:

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

All it was was once before
A time forgotten cause less is more
My life is mine and I am free
Yielded and finally seen

This is all just a Hallelujah

straight lines

If only there were straight lines
I'd take me straight to you
But time's taking it's sweet time
In taking me to you

But I will wait
I will wait for you

There's no amount of time that isn't worth you.

I need you

How do I show the truth I hope sweet can do
How do I show the truth I know time can prove
I could navigate the whole ocean blue
All that it would do is show
I need you

How do I show the truth my thoughts couldn't fool
How do I show the truth if only my heart could move
I could navigate the whole world through
All that it would do is show
I need you

I need you

I don't know how to show the truth
but I could navigate the whole ocean blue
All that it would do is prove
God showed me you

Figured out yet...

I don't know, this might be a bad analogy... especially for a Dutch, middle class, CRC white boy to make, but I will make it anyways. It seems like the best talks and some of the most revolutionary moments in my life have been shared with my close friends over a beer and a smoke. Whether it is a cigar, a pipe, or a tasteful cigarette, there is something about a burning ember the enlightens the brain... maybe a little bit too literally... at any rate, I realized that these moments are the moments that little sparks of who we are, what we are becoming, and what we should do lighten and then fade away. This is about these moments, and the moments that I have tried to figure what I am supposed to do with my life. I hope that they metaphor makes sense ;)

Like the flicked end of a cigarette
The passes by your way
Well, we don't have it figured out yet
But we will some day...

We don't have it figured out yet
But we will some day...

You know it's nothing to worry about
Cause we know He's got it figured out
We don't have it figured out yet
But we will some day...

We're singing we don't have it figured out yet
But we will someday...

Does Satan Exist?

Look at this video... ask yourself the same question...

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=7170007&page=1

Do we live lives that reflect a risen Christ? Without this life, Satan not only exists... he reigns.

True Conversion...

I have a great opportunity to teach a catechism class at the church that I attend at college called Bridge of Hope. They say that the best way to learn something is to teach it, which has proved to be true so far this year. This past lesson turned out to be particularly true... so I will post the lesson plan. It is really rough, as I basically use it as a bullet point as compared to something that I actually read. However, there are some good questions... and hopefully you are able to relate all the material together.

What is your only hope in life and in death?
I had an RA my freshman year that everyone loved. He is one of those people that everyone should experience at one time or another in their lives. He was a great mentor, he always seemed to be around when you needed him, he was steadfast in Christianity, and had a passion for living an authentic faith. The next year he decided to go on a study abroad program to Egypt, and it proved to change his life. You see, when you go on a these study abroad programs you have to attend a class in the area that you go to. So, Justin had this short scrawny little Egyptian man teaching him all of his classes. The first day that they were there this short scrawny Egyptian man asked them the question: Today you have to choose, do you want to be and American, or do you want to be an American?
I want you to discuss real quick, why in the world do you think this Egyptian guy would ask them that question?
What did you come up with?
There was this man who was a devout Christian. God gave him wisdom and knowledge… he became the ruler of a nation and extremely rich. Soon, his fame was widespread, anything he ever wanted was at his fingertips, women flocked to him, and he lived a very humanistic and pleasure seeking life. At his death bed though, he reflects on his life… and we got the book Ecclesiastes to explore his true feelings. You see, he looked back on it all and regretted a lot of things. He looked back on his riches, his self seeking pleasures, the things that seem to “matter” now… he looks back on all of it and he calls it meaningless! We wonder, why in the world would a man who seemed to be a devout Christian early in life get tangled in such a mess with worldly desires? But then again, we see this all over the place, both Augustine and Samson were addicted to sex, countless of theologians including Luther were die hard drunks!
Discuss real quick why Solomon would claim everything as meaningless? Why are so many people caught up in sin, especially when we know it is meaningless?!
Christ came so that we might now truth. The fact of the matter is that we are all sinners caught up in many meaningless things. In fact, anything and everything is meaningless without Christ! Catechism 88-91 talks about conversion, and what it looks like. 88 claims that two things must happen for TRUE conversion: the mortification of the old self, and the quickening of the new. In other words we need to die to the sinful ways that we have become so accustomed to, and bring on the new! However, this conversion process is hard, long, and begins anew every single day! It is hard to live authentic Christianity! It is hard to turn away from sin, as we have seen our best leaders failed everyday! We need to look at our lives and convert everything to Christ. Everything that you do today, for the rest of this day is meaningless! The songs you sing, the dinner you will eat, the nap you might have, the friends you will talk to… it is all, frankly, just a bunch meaningless crap, unless you have Christ in your hearts and at the core of everything that you do. Your conversion begins now, and it begins every morning.
What does it mean to you, what does it give you hope for, or what is scary about it?

Vindication?

I don't know what to think about this article...

http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/646579835.html

Vindication is not ours on earth, the satisfaction of someone dying isn't our goal... Our vindication is our victory in Christ, not someone's death ... no matter how much they deserve it.

They call us "anti abortionists," we call us "pro life." However, you need to choose one or the other. If you choose anti abortion, you are simply claiming that you disagree with abortion. If you claim pro life then you are not only claiming the injustice of abortion but every other issue that comes with it. Are we really pro life.

We claim the injustice of killing a baby, but do we justify capital punishment? We claim the absurdity of terminating a fetus, but do we justify terminating an Arab? We claim the stupidity of the person who chooses their babies fate, but do we justify discarding them as sinners? We claim the tragedies of millions of murdered unborns, but we justify the tragedies of a sinners family.

Who are we? Vindication is not ours! Blood is not ours to seek! Rejoice in the shut down of a clinic, mourn the death of a lost soul. It was written in this article, "We warned him, for his children's sake, to wash his hands of the innocent blood he assisted in spilling because, as Scripture warns, if "you did not hate bloodshed, bloodshed will pursue you". (Ezekiel 35:6)" But it as also been said, "For all fall short of the Glory of God." Who are we to gloat over the death of some children, when that is exactly what we are batteling. Our best defense to him right now is to hold him up in our arms as a brother, created... just as all is created.

Blind

Who knows what the future holds
dreams fade of making gold
Were caught up in the rest
But it hasn't been our best

Suddenly were melting into blind
A long time until peace of mind
their singing all you need is just to breath
Its the way life is supposed to be...

but
I'm blind
I'm blind

I throw on what I have got and go
Chase along with the currents flow
I'm in line with what I understand
But rare in a common mans land